Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in alliecaulfield's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
10:51 am	Things fall apart.
Monday, March 20th, 2006
2:54 pm	All the love I have given has been in vain. I doubt anyone will ever read this as no one who would care knows it exists. I honestly believe I have always been alone and that any feelings anyone has ever had for me have been temporary and without depth. Eventually everyone moves on to something else. Maybe there is nothing in me for anyone to love deeply. I suppose I am nothing of consequence to anyone. I recently discovered that I had just been a phase in the life of someone I loved. Soon the memory of me will fade and disappear. She will find someone else, and grow bored with him, as is the human condition. As for me, all that will be left is me standing alone on a hill somewhere, above everything, with the future the present and the past all around me, just as I stood alone so many times before. The future is as vast and as open as the spaces inside of me. In the room the women come and go, talking Michelangelo.
Friday, August 26th, 2005
3:59 pm	The way of the samurai is found in death. If by setting one's heart right every morning and every evening, one is able to live as though his body were already dead, he gains freedom in the Way(Tao). His whole life will be without blame, and he will succeed in his calling." (Comment on this)
Friday, June 3rd, 2005
5:14 pm	I'm happy just because I realized I am really no one. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
5:13 pm	I touched the seat with my finger tips and the material was soaked with blood. I would be dead soon. I would never make it to see Niki, but I thought I could live until dawn and I was glad. I knew that the sun rising, the light that burned at the edges of the world, meant the end of something just as much as it meant the beginning. I was happy to have finally found the end. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
10:03 am	I thought I could die right then and everything would make sense. There was no injustice, no wrong done. The end and the beginning were the same. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
11:37 am	I'm definitely down for the count on this one. But I'll fight again. I have to learn how to lose. So it goes. Watch for my rematch. Every trial in my life seems easy because of Carly. My job doesn't bother me when I'm with her, and I feel like I can do anything. No wonder she has so many friends. She brightens the life of everyone she knows. For a while now everything has been out of focus. I need to get back to writing and music and stay away from the distractions. My job is boring yet necessary. The money is good. I need to save money. I make 550 a week and I can't seem to save any of it. What the hell is wrong with me? I wish i could get rid of everything i own and live in an empty room in the woods. (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 22nd, 2005
4:01 pm	On the Island of Anthemoessa I am tired. Everything outside is covered with snow. I am starting to second guess myself. I don't really know if I am all that good at anything. I'm not bad at it, thats for sure, but not good enough for it to not end up disappointing. What more could I expect? I submitted a story to Zoetrope: All Story, Francis Ford Coppola's story magazine. I submitted, "The Girl with the Gunshot Wound Hair." It will be rejected, but maybe I'll just try to see how many times I can get rejected before giving up. All this negativity is bullshit. Fuck this. (Comment on this)
Monday, January 19th, 2004
11:04 pm	This is my journal I have nothing to say for one year. Current Music: nothing (Comment on this)
11:04 pm	Out of the swamp I just started this thing. I just quit gambling, which probably will only last a short time. I'm writing again and often which is good. (Comment on this)